I could link to a million posts about this one, but awhile back when I was really heavy and had just torn my ACL and was sort of freaked out by not being able to workout to balance out all the crap I was eating I decided to follow the FAA food plan. It was life changing and I was changing, not just my weight, but my taste buds. I craved salad and veggies and genuinely wanted to eat clean and healthy. I was on this path for I'd say 6 months or so, then BAM as quickly as I changed my ways, I was back to eating crap and it all started with 1 cookie.
I'd like to blame that cookie, but I know that I was itching to eat junky stuff, was lax on my food plan and was allowing more sugars and bad carbs in. So while that cookie in a weird way gave me permission to eat "bad" it also signified that I may have an actual problem with food.
I have become very aware that I am a carboholic. I crave goldfish crackers, bagels and pizza. In my mind those foods equal a complete full balanced day's worth of meals. I could be completely happy and content. But I know better.
This blog has allowed me to write out some feelings about food and life and running and balance, but it has also shown me that my way is not the best way - when I try to diet, I fail, and I fail because I go crazy carb heavy and my body rebels. And OH MY is my body rebelling.
I have been feeling pretty crappy, stomach pain, lethargic (despite at least 7-8 hours of sleep on the reg). My face has been feeling numb, just weird stuff. I've also been eating pizza, bagels and instead of the goldfish, PB Cheerios. Tons of flour and wheat, which means time to cut it out. I've always followed up on celiac and gluten sensitivity. I think I secretly hoped that I too would have celiacs so I would be forced to cut out the flour's and wheat's for real. I guess I have been looking for that easier softer way. But I'm here to tell you, no dice on the easier softer way, success = work.
So this morning I weighed myself. I'm 167. I'm usually between 164 and 167, I will back up my weight on the gym scale tomorrow (day off today). I will work for this. I will earn it. I might cry, but I want to be in a bikini and I will make that happen. I will plan meals and workouts and stick to the meal planning (the working out is easy peasy, I love it and rarely miss unless something really comes up).
I will do this because seriously, how many times am I going to say and not do?
I may even join a contest on a forum somewhere (maybe on Daily Plate or Runners World...anywhere) so that I am extra accountable.
I just know that I HAVE to do this. I want to feel kick ass good and not have a flabby stomach. I want to be successful at the last thing I'm having trouble finding success with. I have let go of the fear, I have the willingness and I have the drive.
So today I'm 167. Let's see where I am at next Monday...
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Gone Skiin'
Sorry for the lack of posting. I'm in a bit of a slump, basically any post I have started I've deleted for they have been waaaay too boring!
Ok, so where have I been...
Skiing and outdoor hot tubbing!
I had a ton more pics but blogger is being pissy and won't let me upload them I hatchu picture uploader!
This season has not been great for NE skiing, normally I get around 20 days in, this year only 5 but I'm ok with it. I made the decision to not do my VT house so the days I got were with the boy and a ton of fun. Err, aside from the ticket we got on the way up Fri which was made worse by my car not being registered....just a minor snafu. But we had so much fun and stayed at The Hannah, a great place which blows any hotel/inn I've previously stayed at in the Catskills away!
The rest of the time I've been working and getting my sweat on.
Life is good.
Running is good.
Ran 3 miles last night in perfect 70 degree temps, last week was a lot on the treadmill along with a few trips to the pool. Not sure I'm going to run the Half on the 24th, I may decide last minute and just treat it as a long run that I'm not ready for!
And for this weekend, running and eating lots of corned beef. That's how I roll on Paddy's day!
Ok, so where have I been...
Skiing and outdoor hot tubbing!
I had a ton more pics but blogger is being pissy and won't let me upload them I hatchu picture uploader!
This season has not been great for NE skiing, normally I get around 20 days in, this year only 5 but I'm ok with it. I made the decision to not do my VT house so the days I got were with the boy and a ton of fun. Err, aside from the ticket we got on the way up Fri which was made worse by my car not being registered....just a minor snafu. But we had so much fun and stayed at The Hannah, a great place which blows any hotel/inn I've previously stayed at in the Catskills away!
The rest of the time I've been working and getting my sweat on.
Life is good.
Running is good.
Ran 3 miles last night in perfect 70 degree temps, last week was a lot on the treadmill along with a few trips to the pool. Not sure I'm going to run the Half on the 24th, I may decide last minute and just treat it as a long run that I'm not ready for!
And for this weekend, running and eating lots of corned beef. That's how I roll on Paddy's day!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Bed+Dark = Failed Workout Attempt
What is it about my bed at 5:20 that prevents me from doing anything but sleeping? It's not comfortable, the boy will tell you in total detail how uncomfortable it is, it's sort of like a hammock, but at the ungodly 5ish hour it's perfect....and I don't ever want to leave.
My plan today was a 5:45 spin followed by some lifting. I set the alarm, was in bed a little late for me but not too bad and had grand dreams of an early morning sweat sesh. Then that horrible alarm went off, I got up turned it off and promptly went back to bed. End of story.
Now I'm mad (truth be told not that mad, you do know who I am by now) and bummed because life is busy and I missed my chance to workout. I could go later tonight, but I'm getting a massage after work and who the hell works out after a massage?? The good news is I went to the gym last night: 3 miles with 1.5 miles of quick speed intervals then a cool down and a 400m swim. I also didn't eat the candy that I wanted, unless you count the carmelized banana I made, but that only had a small amount of brown sugar so it still counts as healthy.
I think once we turn the clocks back and it's warm and light out in the morning I'll be up and out, that has always been my pattern. And as much as I WANT to get that morning workout in, my hammock bed will most likely always win.
If you have a second, go check out my BFF's new blog!
My plan today was a 5:45 spin followed by some lifting. I set the alarm, was in bed a little late for me but not too bad and had grand dreams of an early morning sweat sesh. Then that horrible alarm went off, I got up turned it off and promptly went back to bed. End of story.
Now I'm mad (truth be told not that mad, you do know who I am by now) and bummed because life is busy and I missed my chance to workout. I could go later tonight, but I'm getting a massage after work and who the hell works out after a massage?? The good news is I went to the gym last night: 3 miles with 1.5 miles of quick speed intervals then a cool down and a 400m swim. I also didn't eat the candy that I wanted, unless you count the carmelized banana I made, but that only had a small amount of brown sugar so it still counts as healthy.
I think once we turn the clocks back and it's warm and light out in the morning I'll be up and out, that has always been my pattern. And as much as I WANT to get that morning workout in, my hammock bed will most likely always win.
If you have a second, go check out my BFF's new blog!
Monday, March 5, 2012
It's GOALS Time!
Still going strong with the Monthly Goals posting and I have to say February was the most successful yet! I pretty much met each one which I'm psyched about.
Here were the goals:
I also made some huge decisions:
Here were the goals:
- Reign it in. Enough talking about it, more DOING it!
- Crossfit/run/spin repeat
- Try to fit in some yoga
- Lose some weight!
- Help my parents with their computer, uploading pics to Facebook ect...this is actually easier said than done, but I WILL do this for them!
I also made some huge decisions:
- Quit Crossfit
- Joined a new gym
- Quit fitness incentive
- Signed up for the Chicago Marathon
- Run the half that I have been going back and forth on
- Log some longer runs so I don't hurt myself while running the above mentioned half
- Ski (oh how I miss my ski house...and snow for that matter!) and if a ski trip falls on the weekend of the above half, it's ok to not run and ski!
- Continue to get my swim on
- Spend some time with my parents - I never see them anymore!!
- Continue with the no sugar (or to be specific dessert, and limit my froyo consumption)
- Curb my spending
Friday, March 2, 2012
Starting Over
I'm starting over, turning over a new leaf, taking a chance that I'll get through the fear and really make a change.
I am going to do what it takes to lose weight.
March 2nd is my official start date. I got up this morning, went to spin, lifted and made the decision to give it up, all of it, the fear of success, the fear of failure, the fear of never being able to lose these last 20 or so pounds.
I read a meditation, and then thought about it long and hard over an egg sammy (1 yolk, 1 white and a veggie sausage...yum). and here I am, once again making a public statement but this time I'm motivated, driven and ready to succeed.
In Dec I hit a low of 159, for about a day, but still I was under 160. Today I clocked in at 167. I was once 211, so I'm no stranger to the process.
Like my meditation this morning said: "May I not be afraid to change" and today I am not afraid to change.
Wow. That was deep.
Ok, so what are my plans? Still figuring it out, but I know I have to really get rid of the sugar. So there's that. I also know I need to continue to track food. Because I've been consistently tracking I can see where I get tripped up - nut butters and snacking. I HAVE to pick better snacks. Not sure about limiting the nut butter, I'm only having 1 serving a day, and not even every day. It's the sugar and the snacking that are killing me.
So just for today I am going to say no to sugar. I can do this.
I'm good with the exercise, I'm getting my sweat on daily and big running starts up now for the half.
Whew. Taking the first step is half the battle. Lets do this!
I am going to do what it takes to lose weight.
March 2nd is my official start date. I got up this morning, went to spin, lifted and made the decision to give it up, all of it, the fear of success, the fear of failure, the fear of never being able to lose these last 20 or so pounds.
I read a meditation, and then thought about it long and hard over an egg sammy (1 yolk, 1 white and a veggie sausage...yum). and here I am, once again making a public statement but this time I'm motivated, driven and ready to succeed.
In Dec I hit a low of 159, for about a day, but still I was under 160. Today I clocked in at 167. I was once 211, so I'm no stranger to the process.
Like my meditation this morning said: "May I not be afraid to change" and today I am not afraid to change.
Wow. That was deep.
Ok, so what are my plans? Still figuring it out, but I know I have to really get rid of the sugar. So there's that. I also know I need to continue to track food. Because I've been consistently tracking I can see where I get tripped up - nut butters and snacking. I HAVE to pick better snacks. Not sure about limiting the nut butter, I'm only having 1 serving a day, and not even every day. It's the sugar and the snacking that are killing me.
So just for today I am going to say no to sugar. I can do this.
I'm good with the exercise, I'm getting my sweat on daily and big running starts up now for the half.
Whew. Taking the first step is half the battle. Lets do this!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
New Gym!
Holy Moley, I joined a new gym. Like a real globo gym with sales people and everything. It was weird and I felt icky, but I'm pretty happy about it now and I'm done feeling all guilty for leaving my gym of 8 years. I've only been a handful of times but so far so good. I swam twice and took a spin class and LOVED it! Sometimes change is good!
Being back in the pool has been pretty cool. I love swimming and if I'm going to"tri" this summer I need to get my swim on. The pool is 25 meters, 3 lanes, clean and not too crowded. Last night I swam 40 laps with ease. I was mainly working on form and breathing, speed will come, so will the distance.
Tonight I go back for a session with the trainer. He'll do all that body fat stuff that I'm dreading and show me some machines. I'm pretty ok with my strength training, but I feel like I have no idea where anything is, this place is huge! I guess I'm most excited about the in depth tour. This guy also knows that I was a Crossfitter so we are planning on really utilizing the free weight section which is cool. I've heard a lot of Crossfitters talk about how "globo" gyms hate on the Crossfit methodology and don't want they members doing any of the wods. I'm not sure I'm going to bust out a huge complex wod, but it's nice to know I can still do clean and jerks and stuff like that.
Overall I'm really happy with this new place. I'm excited to spend time there and I'm even more relived about my decision to quit CF.
In addition to all the swimming and spinning last week, I also ran a bunch. Running partner and I cleared 3 miles Wednesday and Sunday I ran 4 before my best day ever. After the gym tour I'm planning on a speed session on the 'mill.
Oh, and the food has been pretty good too!!
Being back in the pool has been pretty cool. I love swimming and if I'm going to"tri" this summer I need to get my swim on. The pool is 25 meters, 3 lanes, clean and not too crowded. Last night I swam 40 laps with ease. I was mainly working on form and breathing, speed will come, so will the distance.
Tonight I go back for a session with the trainer. He'll do all that body fat stuff that I'm dreading and show me some machines. I'm pretty ok with my strength training, but I feel like I have no idea where anything is, this place is huge! I guess I'm most excited about the in depth tour. This guy also knows that I was a Crossfitter so we are planning on really utilizing the free weight section which is cool. I've heard a lot of Crossfitters talk about how "globo" gyms hate on the Crossfit methodology and don't want they members doing any of the wods. I'm not sure I'm going to bust out a huge complex wod, but it's nice to know I can still do clean and jerks and stuff like that.
Overall I'm really happy with this new place. I'm excited to spend time there and I'm even more relived about my decision to quit CF.
In addition to all the swimming and spinning last week, I also ran a bunch. Running partner and I cleared 3 miles Wednesday and Sunday I ran 4 before my best day ever. After the gym tour I'm planning on a speed session on the 'mill.
Oh, and the food has been pretty good too!!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Things I love:The Sunday (How Did I Get So Lucky) Edition
A quickie (twss) for a lazy Monday Morning.
4 mile runs in my neighborhood
Drives out East for a late lunch and a chance to catch the sunset with the boy
Bakeries!
The running was great, lunch even better, the apple pie thingy that I should have taken a pic of but I'm not a food blogger, even better! I love Sunday's.
4 mile runs in my neighborhood
 |
| My running route |
Drives out East for a late lunch and a chance to catch the sunset with the boy
 |
| Dune Road/Sundays |
Bakeries!
 |
| Beach Bakery Cafe |
The running was great, lunch even better, the apple pie thingy that I should have taken a pic of but I'm not a food blogger, even better! I love Sunday's.
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