Monday, January 30, 2012

Virtual Run for Sherry..... Let's Do This!!!

Any local runners want to get together and participate in this virtual run?

I'm working on a longer post, but wanted to get this out there. I first heard about Sherry from SUAR and have been following the story since. Even though I'm on Long Island and Sherry and her family are from Montana, this tragic story has made my news and because of this awesome community, my blog feed. I've had her in my thoughts and prayers and would love to run this in her memory. If anyone is interested, let me know, I'm also working with my coach to get a group together.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Crossfit, Weight and Fear of Failure

I had a big "come to jesus" talk with my Crossfit coach this week, we spoke about my sometimes frustration, my dedication and overall if this is for me. I've been Crossfitting for awhile now and I've seen some change but I constantly question the HUGE monthly fee and if it's worth it.

Two things I know for sure, in order to be successful I need to 1. clean up my food and 2. work harder. Plain and simple. For whatever reason I'm stuck on carbs (the junky ones) and they are really what is killing me. Oh, and ice cream too. But I know I will reap the rewards if I make these little changes.

Since our talk I've had two very good workouts. We talked about my form and my function - form is spot on, I was trained well prior coming to Fusion, I'm not really working on my function, really powering through. I should feel totally wiped after a workout. You know those pics of people laying on the floor when a wod is done...yea, that's not me. So the new focus is upping my intensity which I have done big time my last two workouts.

Next up is the diet, which it seems, is always next up...

I figure if I keep blogging about it I'll eventually do something about it, right? RIGHT?!?!?

I recently read a post from one of my favorite bloggers. She sums up better than I could about what has been going on for me - fear of failure. I guess I'm afraid that if I do the work, the real hard work and fail, it wouldn't have been worth it. All this time I have been afraid of my own success. Don't get me wrong, I'm also afraid of the work, the uncomfortableness that comes along with dieting. But I've been here before and SUCCESSFULLY lost weight. So today I'm going to focus on doing - forgetting about the fear and just powering on.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Weekend Recap

This weekend was rather dull. The Manhattan Half got turned into a fun run so I decided not to trek into the city for a cold, wet and snowy race. My knee thanked me. It would have been a struggle to begin with as I wasn't really ready for the distance, at least not to race so I was pretty happy to sleep in. The rest of the day was spent on the couch eating pancakes with the boy and working on our stuff (pancakes = fun, working on our stuff was not). On a happy side note we still get 9+1 credit for the race. Holla!!

Yesterday I ran the 3rd Winter Run at Caumsett State Park. Nothing to write home about, we were late so we got stuck behind the walkers and it was hard to dart in and out, the path was narrow and snowy so I just took in the scenery and had a nice race. I managed to negative split and my knee was pain free throughout. Today I'm a little sore, but not too bad.

This week the plan is Crossfit Today/Weds/Thurs. Tue will most likely be an off day unless I do something in the morning, then off to the mountains for a ski weekend with the boy and our friends.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Giving up on the Goal

January goals...I have failed you.

I'm sorry, maybe I can make it up to you in February?

This week has been one big fail. Zero workouts, 3 bagels, 2 slices of pizza....blogging instead of working (actually, I worked pretty hard this week come to think of it, so I take that one back).

It's so hard to stay on goal and I struggle big time. In my own defense, I decided to take the week off to rest my knee for tomorrow's half. I want to go into those Central Park hills relatively pain free and for the most part I'm feeling really good.

Tomorrow will not be my best race, in fact I'm not even treating it as a race, but rather a long run. My miles are not even close to where they should be, nothing midweek and a few longish runs the past 2 weekends. I should do OK as long as I keep my head out of it. It's also supposed to snow which should make the whole experience pretty interesting.

As far as the goals, I'm going to pick myself back up and dust the carb crumbs off my shirt. It's never too late to start back over and ya know what, I NEEDED to carbo load for tomorrow anyway!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

21 Random Things

I am a sucker for anything where I have to divulge crap about myself (seriously) so I'm pumped that Sarah over at Running (to keep up) with a toddler tagged me!

See, I'm really excited!

1. I don't drink, like at all. No major Lindsay Lohan experience, just your typical run of the mill, garden variety spiritual experience :)

2. I've been blogging for 5 years and I just recently started to really pay attention to my blog. Loving the new blog friends I have been making and loving that people are actually reading this thing (it blows my mind a little!).

3. I'm an only child and only want one child (god willing). That child's name will be Morgan; boy or girl.

4. I drive a Lexus and often feel a little weird about it when people ask me what type of car I drive.

5. I was single for a ridiculously long time before the boy came into my life. I could have been a nun, that's how long.

6. Up until a few years ago I NEVER ate fruit or salad. It took being powerless over my weight to get with the healthy eating bandwagon. So, so happy about that!

7. I'm super sensitive. It sometimes sucks, especially when I overreact to something because of it.

8. I really love the Grateful Dead and secretly wish that I would have joined one of those weird dead head cults that used to follow them around in the 90's when I was going to shows.

9. I often hate making plans and will hem and haw up until the time I have to actually attend said plan. I'm always happy I follow through though!

10. Umm...this is hard and is taking me forever to figure out 21 random things!

11. I have never owned a dog and don't think I ever will. Too much work.

12. I often question the money I spend on Crossfit and wonder if it's worth it. I ponder this often. I also question my dedication. What keeps me there: it's still cheaper than a personal trainer.

13. I'm not a huge TV watcher. I'm a take it or leave it type of gal. Although I did DVR Oprah every single day. And I hold a special place in my heart for Teen Mom 2.

14. I'm really digging Thai food right now. Shrimp pad thai and thom kha gai have been my staples for the last few weeks.

15. I'm probably in love for the first time ever and that is scary.

16. I'm trying to replace my fear with faith and that is hard, scary and exciting all at the same time.

17. I am starting to worry about my future which is a HUGE reminder that I need to stay in the present.

18. I have 2 tattoos on my lower back. I don't regret them, but I probably wouldn't have gotten them if I had to do it over. Side note, if I wasn't such a WASP, I would maybe have a very colorful half sleeve, some type of cool ocean theme.

19. As much I don't want a dog (or even any additional animals) I seriously love my bitchy cat Olive Marie. She is ridiculously adorable even though I think I need stitches from a donkey kick to the hand last night. Bitch.

20. I still can't believe I run (swim, bike, crossfit, practice yoga...ect). I'm supposed to be a fat girl who drinks a-lot!

21. I am the happiest I have been. This has been a great year, ups, downs and all arounds.

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Coldest Race EVER!!!

771 crazy runners braved the wind, freezing temps and possible frostbite to run the 2nd Winter Run race of the series. The beach was beautiful, the wind and iciness, not so much!

It was cold and amazing all rolled into one! Yesterday was so cold the only thing to do was just laugh it we did. I love my running crew, plus a few new ones. Makes knee pain, icy snot rockets and wind bearable!

D-rock shaved 4 minutes off her time, I shaved 1 minute from last week but I'm really not running my best with the knee all wonky. I'm just happy I can run at this point! I ran 7.5 the day before and it was HARD!! The rest of the crew all did well, hangovers, cold hands and all.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Goals Update

Since the 2nd week of Jan is pretty much close to being over (huzzah weekend!) I figured I'd post my Jan goals progress.

So far not too terrible, but not too great either.

Eating in has been a success. I have had all but 2 meals home cooked - thai sun and a work lunch yesterday. Feeling pretty good about that one!

No spin or yoga, but that's really because of my knee acting up, same with the running, I'd like to be running a bit more, although technically I ran 2 races so I'm on track.

Totally killing Crossfit, making 3 workouts a week has been a breeze.

Junky carbs, not too great. I had 2 bagels this week and a lot of cookies. Hoping all that salad for lunch will even things out (crossing fingers).

Work goals have been somewhat on track, that to do list will always be the death of me!

Life goals, still working on that! Ha, but I am reading my reader a bit more.

Overall I'm doing it! BUT I need to really focus on the food which is always the case.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Race Weekend Recap

This weekend was amazing for running, 50 degree temps, not too windy, perfect for 2 back to back races! And I wore shorts!

Saturday I ran the Joe Kleinerman 10k in Central Park. The park is probably my favorite place to run, even with all the hills! Good thing I like a good incline because the course was definitely challenging. It was good training for the Manhattan Half which is coming up and I believe is basically 2 loops around the upper section of the park.

I'm not great with course descriptions, but this guy did a pretty good job laying it out.

I went in with Running Partner Sheila and we had a blast. We were late and couldn't find parking, then thought we found the jackpot spot right at the entrance only to get a ticket! It was $40 so I'm not complaining and the spot was still worth it since we were so late, still had to pee and could hear the Star Spangle Banner being sung! Next race we will get in a little earlier for sure.

Overall I ran really well, finished in 59:29 and all my splits were within 10 seconds of each other which made me really happy considering the elevation changes. The only negative was I really felt my knee turn to shit around mile 6. Damn you bad knee!

Sunday was the first of the Winter Run Series. Nothing too spectacular, just a 5k loop around Heckscher park. I took this very slow, ran a 10 minute pace because of my knee. I probably shouldn't have ran at all, but I'm a sucker for a race, plus I'm cheap and had already paid for the series and am missing the last race. I also signed up with one of my besties so I didn't want to bail on her.

Hey D!

The plan was to not run fast, at all, just enjoy the scenery and bail if I needed to. I felt pretty good and at the 2nd mile marker decided to finish it out. Once it was over I ran into my friends, grabbed ice and chilled for a bit by the beach. Perfect way to end a race!

I always say this, but I'm really fortunate to live in an area where there are multiple races happening all weekend, and sometimes during the week. The LI/NYC running community is really amazing when it comes to racing and fun runs.

Monday, January 9, 2012

When I was Heavy

I really love running. I'm sometimes so amazed by this fact because I was fat, like woa fat. I lost and have kept off about 46 pounds, although the original total was closer to 53.

You can really see the difference here:

Today I'm in the low 160's...hoping to get to the 140's, or whatever weight will make me look good in a bikini.

Even when I was heavy I was a somewhat active - a spin class here and there, a few Century rides, but I was not fit. Today I'm active and fit and so, so grateful. I can walk up stairs and not get winded, I can run, I can swim, I can go faster than the skinny girls out there. I may not be exactly where I want to be size wise, but I'm happy and that's what really matters.

Being so heavy was not pleasant, but I was a huge self medicator so I don't think I really ever knew how bad I felt, I just know it was a bad time. It's been a few years with the weight off and I've never been happier, like seriously wake up everyday happy.

So how did I do it?

I was literally brought to my knees with powerlessness. I tore my ACL about 4 years ago skiing, at that time I was maybe 180ish (on the high side after losing about 20lbs on Jenny Craig), working out and running but still heavy. I went skiing, fell on a mogul and bammm, no more working out. I had heard about a food support group, FAA and I decided to check it out. I went to the meetings, followed the food plan and lost the weight. I eventually started eating "normal" and gained back about 15 pounds, which I have lost about half of that.

I struggle with bad carbs and I had pretty much eliminated all sugar/flour/wheat from my diet. Grains, rice and potatoes were ok, but the stuff that kills me were eliminated - pizza, bagels, brownies - the stuff that I seriously love to eat.

Today I'm working to figure out a balance and believe it or not, I'm almost back to where I was - I just hurt that same knee all over again and I need to reevaluate my food and how I'm eating.

This morning while driving to work I was thinking about that day 4 years ago and how I was so afraid that I would gain weight by not being able to exercise, I was pretty much panicked (which for me usually means powerless) and so my journey began.

I'm wondering if the same thing is happening to me again? I clearly see that I exercise to sometimes compensate for what I'm eating - I don't do this in a disordered way, but I won't worry about the bagel if I know I'm going to run, which is probably why my weight isn't really moving much.

I've been posting about goals and weight and all that, but being back in pain with the though of not being able to run off the Goldfish crackers leaves me to believe that my higher power may just be doing for me what I can't(or won't) do for myself. Some food for thought (pun intended), but entirely possible...

Friday, January 6, 2012

Reining It In

Today I really, really wanted Thai, but I had it yesterday, and because I'm not getting thinner (or richer) I made my standard veggie burger over arugula with a pinch of goat cheese and fresh squeezed lemon.

I'm reining it in people!

I did so well over the holidays, I even managed to lose a little weight.
Then the Christmas weekend happened and all hell broke loose. As the boy likes to say, we've been eating for sport.

My biggest downfall is eating out, once I get into the habit it's hard for me want a crappy salad with a veggie burger, I'd much rather order out and then starts the cycle.

I do have to say, I've had some amazing meals out and if I were a food blogger taking pics you would all be amazed! Lavish, belt tightening, EXPENSIVE meals out. Some I paid for, some were holiday family splurges...and all were kick ass.

So in an effort to rein it in, I'm going to challenge myself to eat in more. The boy likes to cook which is a plus (he actually made us the best ever sea bass the other night) now I just have to get him to eat some of my cooking! The plan is to make breakfast and lunch and let dinner just sort of happen. I'll probably still eat out on the weekends but I want to cook at home at least 4 nights per week. I also want to limit ice cream, but I doubt that will happen. I have a few work lunches scheduled, some of that can't be avoided, but I can avoid the running out and buying crap lunches.

So there it is, the plan in a nutshell. This is what has always worked for me, my cravings for crap go away, my clothes fit better and I actually enjoy my food.

For now I'm going to be thankful for that crappy arugula salad (which was actually really good) because it reminded me that I need to get back to basics.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

2012 Race Goals

I've been thinking a lot about racing and what exactly I want to accomplish this year.

For the first time ever I was super dedicated to running. Training for the marathon completely changed my outlook on the how/when/where and the why of why I run. I was focused and determined, but still had fun and even slacked a little. I accomplished my goal and have continued to run which was priority #1 for me - keep going after the big day.

I'm not totally clear on what I want to for '12, but I do know there is a triathlon in there along with a bunch of half marathons. I'm playing around with a fall marathon - maybe Hartford or Steamtown, but I'm not sure. I'm also going to try and run 9 NYRR races to qualify for the 2013 NYC marathon. This is more time consuming than anything, but I'm pretty sure I can handle it. It's a pain traveling into the city to run, but I actually enjoy NYRR races so it should be doable. Plus I love that they have a ton of half marathons throughout the year and I really want to run NYC for '13.

As far as specific race day goals go, I think my #1 is to run a 2 hour half. I'll have a bunch of chances to do it, and I think I can shave 10 minutes off my time. I'm a better runner in all areas so I think this is totally attainable (gulp!!). Aside from that, I'm not sure...but I have time to think about it :)

So far this is what I have going on for January:
The Winter run Series (4 Sundays in Jan)
1/7 - Joe Klienerman 10k
1/21 - Manhattan Half Marathon

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

January Goals

Ahh, January! I'm not a huge New Years resolutions gal, but I am digging the monthly goal posts that a lot of bloggers do. It kept me sort of accountable for December and for that I'm pretty happy.

Before I go into January, here is a December recap:

I accomplished some of the list, although I didn't Crossfit 4x a week, I did kick it up a bit, I had a date (but then got back with my boy), reduced my bad carbs (with only a few bagels for good measure), managed only 1 spin class and no yoga, but did get in my 2 runs per week. Overall it was a good month and I'm glad I laid out a plan.

So for January, I'm going to do a repeat of December with a few additions to spice things up:

Fitness Goals:
Crossfit 3x per week (4x is just too hard to do all the time, but I can for sure do 3)
Run at least 2x per week
Spin 1x per week
Yoga 1x per week

Food Goals:
Eat in more
Continue to limit bagels and pizza

Work Goals:
Not be as bitchy as I have been (last week I was a nighmare! Sorry boss lady)
Focus more on work, not the internet
Clear some of my huge "to-do later" to-do list

Life Goals:
Focus on me more, not the boy
Read my daily reader every day!

I think this all pretty manageable and a lot of it I'm already doing so I should be good to go!

What about you? Any goals for the month?