So I have written a little about the boy and the on-again-off-again nature of our relationship. Every time I think we are done, we are back. Super annoying, but I guess the back and forth had to happen to get me to the point where I am completely done.
When something is no longer fun, is a chore and brings more pain than happiness it's time to let go!
Easier said than done, at least for me!
Part of the problem is that we see each other constantly, no separation. We both belong to a group and that group meets a few times a week and often involves going out after, so low and behold we are both there, still chatting away instead of giving the space we both probably needed from the first breakup. We always parted ways amicably in order to not disrupt some of our social life, this time that did not happen. It wasn't over the top terrible, but we both said some things, he told a mutual friend he is switching groups and I'm left feeling...free.
I never thought this day would come, yes it sucks, yes I miss certain things but this last time around was torture and I realized that my self worth is more important than the status of being in a relationship. I also know that he is not well and I have to remember that.
Today I wish him happiness, I wish him peace and I wish him the freedom to move on with his life ( although I do hope he is crying his eyes out every night!) and let go of the negativity that holds him back.
Normally I'm so bummed and angry, not so this time around. I'm looking forward to the future, my marathon, Crossfit and an amazing 60th birthday weekend with my mom in the city. As long I can stay out of my own way and keep it classy, I can't go wrong.