Quick Monday Check in

Because I really need to work, and not play, today's post will be in bullets.

Lazy, yes?  Smart, also yes.

• The weight in: still have to do that, but I think I'm down 3.  This morning was hectic, Chris was still asleep, I was running late and the scale was under his side of the bed.  Will post tomorrow. (ed note: down 2.5 for a total of 165.5, holler!)
• Diet:  logged all my food, tried not to eat my "gym" calories (I guess I would call them activity points if I was doing WW).  Tried to make better choices over the weekend, hopefully I succeeded, minus the Thin Mints (damn you Girl Scouts of America!!!) and movie popcorn (damn you butter!).
• Pros: cooked all my breakfasts and dinners (except one), lunches were chopped salads.  Ate out only on weekend - Glenn's for breakfast, Thai and dinner with my parents.
• Cons: shitty attitude at work on Fri got me in a little bit of trouble.  Opps.  Lessons learned!
• Workouts: swam just over 400M, spin class, weights,  ran 3x - 2, 3 milers and a 5 miler.

And I just signed up for the Brooklyn Half! Wahooooo!

What A Difference A Few Days Make!

Sooooo....I'm doing great, haven't cried or killed anyone yet and am actually down a few pounds....

So let me start with this, I'm sure a lot of what I'm down is most likely water weight.  My Monday weigh in was 167, high but also somewhat accurate (I should also note I have a huge meatball parm hero Sunday night...last meal!). I weighed into today on my digital and the gym scale  - 163.5 and 162ish.  I had wanted to see if there was a major difference between scales and there really isn't but I'll likely weight myself on both once a week until I feel comfortable with my weight.  I still like the idea of hiding the scale, but right now I am determined and I need to be accountable, so weighing in is critical.

Food has been clean and all homemade (except for chopped salads for lunch), I feel really good, have had minimal "bad carbs" and am overall happier.  I guess you could say a big weight has been lifted.  One thing I need to think about is week 2, this is where I crash and burn.  But today I am in the middle of week1 so I'm going to try and keep my feet where my head is!

I'm still toying with the idea of running the half on Sunday.  Some guys from my club are running it super slow, so I may jump in and run 10 with them.  I'll see what the weekend has in store for me first, if not I will likely get in 5 or 6 on my own.   I know I'm not ready for a speedy 10, but I can likely handle their slow 11:30 pace, lol.  Last night I ran my first day of spring 3 miler in my hood, docks and back.  It was quick (as in only 3 miles), gorgeous out and predictable - my favorite.  This morning I lifted: bosu squats, overhead squats, push press and tri's.  The addition of the tri's was a little odd, but I always like to work that area when I can.

So there you have it, a recap....

Sometimes simple works. 

167

I could link to a million posts about this one, but awhile back when I was really heavy and had just torn my ACL and was sort of freaked out by not being able to workout to balance out all the crap I was eating I decided to follow the FAA food plan.  It was life changing and I was changing, not just my weight, but my taste buds. I craved salad and veggies and genuinely wanted to eat clean and healthy.  I was on this path for I'd say 6 months or so, then BAM as quickly as I changed my ways, I was back to eating crap and it all started with 1 cookie.

I'd like to blame that cookie, but I know that I was itching to eat junky stuff, was lax on my food plan and was allowing more sugars and bad carbs in.  So while that cookie in a weird way gave me permission to eat "bad" it also signified that I may have an actual problem with food.

I have become very aware that I am a carboholic.  I crave goldfish crackers, bagels and pizza.  In my mind those foods equal a complete full balanced day's worth of meals. I could be completely happy and content.  But I know better. 

This  blog has allowed me to write out some feelings about food and life and running and balance, but it has also shown me that my way is not the best way - when I try to diet, I fail, and I fail because I go crazy carb heavy and my body rebels. And OH MY is my body rebelling.

I have been feeling pretty crappy, stomach pain, lethargic (despite at least 7-8 hours of sleep on the reg).  My face has been feeling numb, just weird stuff.  I've also been eating pizza, bagels and instead of the goldfish, PB Cheerios. Tons of flour and wheat, which means time to cut it out.  I've always followed  up on celiac and gluten sensitivity.  I think I secretly hoped that I too would have celiacs so I would be forced to cut out the flour's and wheat's for real.  I guess I have been looking for that easier softer way. But I'm here to tell you, no dice on the easier softer way, success = work.

So this morning I weighed myself.  I'm 167.  I'm usually between 164 and 167, I will back up my weight on the gym scale tomorrow (day off today).  I will work for this.  I will earn it.  I might cry, but I want to be in a bikini and I will make that happen.  I will plan meals and workouts and stick to the meal planning (the working out is easy peasy, I love it and rarely miss unless something really comes up).

I will do this because seriously, how many times am I going to say and not do?

I may even join a contest on a forum somewhere (maybe on Daily Plate or Runners World...anywhere) so that I am extra accountable.

I just know that I HAVE to do this.  I want to feel kick ass good and not have a flabby stomach. I want to be successful at the last thing I'm having trouble finding success with.  I have let go of the fear, I have the willingness and I have the drive.

So today I'm 167. Let's see where I am at next Monday...

Gone Skiin'

Sorry for the lack of posting.  I'm in a bit of a slump, basically any post I have started I've deleted for they have been waaaay too boring!

Ok, so where have I been...

Skiing and outdoor hot tubbing!

 I had a ton more pics but blogger is being pissy and won't let me upload them  I hatchu picture uploader!

This season has not been great for NE skiing, normally I get around 20 days in, this year only 5 but I'm ok with it.  I made the decision to not do my VT house so the days I got were with the boy and a ton of fun.  Err, aside from the ticket we got on the way up Fri which was made worse by my car not being registered....just a minor snafu. But we had so much fun and stayed at The Hannah, a great place which blows any hotel/inn I've previously stayed at in the Catskills away!

The rest of the time I've been working and getting my sweat on.

Life is good.

Running is good.

Ran 3 miles last night in perfect 70 degree temps, last week was a lot on the treadmill along with a few trips to the pool. Not sure I'm going to run the Half on the 24th, I may decide last minute and just treat it as a long run that I'm not ready for! 

And for this weekend, running and eating lots of corned beef.  That's how I roll on Paddy's day!

Bed+Dark = Failed Workout Attempt

What is it about my bed at 5:20 that prevents me from doing anything but sleeping?  It's not comfortable, the boy will tell you in total detail how uncomfortable it is, it's sort of like a hammock, but at the ungodly 5ish hour it's perfect....and I don't ever want to leave.

My plan today was a 5:45 spin followed by some lifting.  I set the alarm, was in bed a little late for me but not too bad and had grand dreams of an early morning sweat sesh.  Then that horrible alarm went off, I got up turned it off and promptly went back to bed. End of story.

Now I'm mad (truth be told not that mad, you do know who I am by now) and bummed because life is busy and I missed my chance to workout.  I could go later tonight, but I'm getting a massage after work and who the hell works out after a massage??  The good news is I went to the gym last night: 3 miles with 1.5 miles of quick speed intervals then a cool down and a 400m swim. I also didn't eat the candy that I wanted, unless you count the carmelized banana I made, but that only had a small amount of brown sugar so it still counts as healthy.

I think once we turn the clocks back and it's warm and light out in the morning I'll be up and out, that has always been my pattern.  And as much as I WANT to get that morning workout in, my hammock bed will most likely always win. 

If you have a second, go check out my BFF's new blog!

It's GOALS Time!

Still going strong with the Monthly Goals posting and I have to say February was the most successful yet! I pretty much met each one which I'm psyched about. 

Here were the goals:

• Reign it in. Enough talking about it, more DOING it!
• Crossfit/run/spin repeat
• Try to fit in some yoga
• Lose some weight!
• Help my parents with their computer, uploading pics to Facebook ect...this is actually easier said than done, but I WILL do this for them!  

I did all but yoga, and the weight thing is debatable, possibly 1 pound, but I'll take it!
I also made some huge decisions:

• Quit Crossfit 
• Joined a new gym
• Quit fitness incentive
• Signed up for the Chicago Marathon

So what's up for March? Here goes:

• Run the half that I have been going back and forth on
• Log some longer runs so I don't hurt myself while running the above mentioned half 
• Ski (oh how I miss my ski house...and snow for that matter!) and if a ski trip falls on the weekend of the above half, it's ok to not run and ski!
• Continue to get my swim on
• Spend some time with my parents - I never see them anymore!!
• Continue with the no sugar (or to be specific dessert, and limit my froyo consumption)
• Curb my spending

What are your goals for March?  

Starting Over

I'm starting over, turning over a new leaf, taking a chance that I'll get through the fear and really make a change.

I am going to do what it takes to lose weight.

March 2nd is my official start date.  I got up this morning, went to spin, lifted and made the decision to give it up, all of it, the fear of success, the fear of failure, the fear of never being able to lose these last 20 or so pounds.

I read a meditation, and then thought about it long and hard over an egg sammy (1 yolk, 1 white and a veggie sausage...yum). and here I am, once again making a public statement but this time I'm motivated, driven and ready to succeed.

In Dec I hit a low of 159, for about a day, but still I was under 160.  Today I clocked in at 167.  I was once 211, so I'm no stranger to the process.

Like my meditation this morning said: "May I not be afraid to change" and today I am not afraid to change.

Wow.  That was deep.

Ok, so what are my plans? Still figuring it out, but I know I have to really get rid of the sugar.  So there's that.  I also know I need to continue to track food.  Because I've been consistently tracking I can see where I get tripped up - nut butters and snacking.  I HAVE to pick better snacks.  Not sure about limiting the nut butter, I'm only having 1 serving a day, and not even every day.  It's the sugar and the snacking that are killing me.  


So just for today I am going to say no to sugar.  I can do this.  


I'm good with the exercise, I'm getting my sweat on daily and big running starts up now for the half.  

Whew. Taking the first step is half the battle.  Lets do this!